How to shower like a man: Walk naked to the bathroom. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs no.
Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror and scratch your ass. Get in the shower.
Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water just rinse it off. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower. Majority of time is spent washing your privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs on the soap bar. Shampoo your hair do not use conditioner. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
Peek out of shower curtain to look at yourself in the mirror again. Pee in the shower.
Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles. Admire wiener size again. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.
Leave bathroom fan and light on. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist.
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Throw wet towel on the bed. How to shower like a woman: Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according tolights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror — make mental note?
Must do more sit-ups.
Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair you must make sure that it has all come off. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead. Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you lose the water pressure. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit, tweeze hairs. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas and then sashay to bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting dressed. Next When the weather is nice, everybody is entitled to postpone that run.