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Sometimes I feel resentful that maybe we should be married by now. We just go on a little vacations…dinners…etc.
What do other people do in our situation? Well, I think people in your situation do one of two things: I can think of two couples just in my immediate circle of family and good friends who have been or are currently in your situation. In your case, you have to decide if your dissatisfaction with your arrangement stems from true unhappiness with the situation or is projected emotion over what you THINK your life should look like or what you imagine other people might think about you and your relationship.
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Yeah, Wendy pretty much nailed it. Addie Pray Dating for 3 years and not living together 29, Stillrunning April 29, Should is a terrible way to make us second guess ourselves. Cellophane April 29, I am currently in the same situation, our kids are younger though. If neither of you is willing to compromise then MOA. Meg January 28,9: No one will ever read this [too long ago, but] if I could be in a relationship longterm where we do not live together I would be happy as a clam!
I am too old to alter my lifestyle, even for one I love deeply. Sounds ideal to little old me! Bittergaymark April 29, Oh boo the fuck hoo hoo hoo. SasLinna April 29, You could get married and still not live together. That choice is becoming more and more popular I think. Frankly it sounds like a pretty attractive option to me.
Stonegypsy April 29, I have been realizing more and more, partly on my own and partly through therapy, that I really loved living with a partner and want to do so again. I love living alone, too, but I miss that feeling of having someone there, being a team, taking care of each other, building little traditions.
Not impossible, but harder. LW, you need to work out what you actually want. Dating for 3 years and not living together to do that, you need to stop thinking about what should happen. What are your reasons for wanting to live together? What do you envision would change? You could find other ways to get the things you want out of the relationship besides living together, maybe. Miss B April 29,2: If I were you I would keep my own house and he stay at his house.
The minute I read the part where his 20 something year old children live at home I realized he is doing you a favor!!! Do not move in with a man who has grown children living at home. If you move in with him it will drive you insane dealing with grown kids living at home even if they are going to college or have a very valid reason to be there.
For 4 years I dated my now husband before we moved in together and we were engaged when I did it.
Once we got engaged and she graduated, we moved in a couple months before she went away to college and a few more months before we married. I can tell you that there are pros and cons to both living arrangements. I love getting to see my husband every day and we get along very well.
My advice for the LW was to see about maybe renting her place and moving in with her BF and seeing how it went. Maybe after they move out. Ange April 29,7: I love this too! My husband is away with work quite often and I travel regularly too and honestly I enjoy it.
We get a chance to miss each other and send each other sweet little messages etc etc. Sue Jones April 29,4: If I ever became widowed I do not think I would leave my house to move in with someone. I like the separate residence idea. Classic April 29, Can you explain why you want to be married at our age at the age of having already had kids who have grown up?
I do not understand this. Anyway— I found a boyfriend eventually, and he moved in with me, but the living together part simply did not work, because we each were so accustomed to running our own homes.