I had never once questioned my sexuality. Even when I began to pique the interest of several of my lesbian friends, I stuck with heterosexuality. I was a bit of a late bloomer. I had my first kiss at the age of 15, with a church boy that, immediately afterward, called me an asshole for not being ready to go farther. Between then and the beginning of my freshman year of college, I kissed two more boys. One was my awkward attempt at friends-with-benefits, whose sister caught us mid-fellatio.
The first semester of my college career brought a slew of new experiences.
For the first few weeks of school, I fell into a whirlwind relationship built on sex and sex alone. I broke it off when I realized that I was leading him on.
Why does every guy fall in love with me
After that, there were several drunken hook-ups and one night stands, some of which I remember and others that I do not. Then came the dry spell. This sounds rather ridiculous, but in your freshman year of college, a month is a long time.
On our last night out before finals week, I met a girl. That night, I had been looking for a guy to dance with or hook-up with, to no avail. I basically forced my ass Girl hookup a girl for the first time the crotch of a guy who, minutes later, was lying on the floor of the bathroom with his head in the toilet, puking up the excessive amounts of alcohol he drank earlier that night. I was so sad. Not a single person at the party felt I was worthy of their time. We were drunk and complimentary.
But then, she popped the question. She immediately hopped off the table she had been dancing on in the shitty house owned by slovenly college men and grabbed my hand, leading me outside.
She whipped out a Black and Mild for us to share and told me I was beautiful again, this time with intent. Before we could smoke the entire cigarillo, her lips were pressed against mine and my tongue was in her mouth.
Her hands were on the small of my back and in my hair. Was this what it felt like to be wanted as a human being rather than a one night stand?
We kissed and we danced and we kissed some more. In front of everyone. In front of all of my friends and her friends.
Maybe part of me wanted this? My roommate pulled me out of my lustful daze to take me home. Had she not, I would have gone home with this girl I had just met. When I woke up the next morning, I had a whole group of people to answer to.
My friends wanted to know what happened. Was last night my way of coming out? Do I like her? Are we going to get together?
Her friends want to know what my intentions are. Apparently I gave off the vibe that I wanted to start a relationship. Did she want that? Did I want that? This was all too much to think about all at once so I went to breakfast with my floormates to clear my head. Nothing will get your mind off of your own drunken decisions better than listening to those of your friends.
An expert gives their tips...
When I got back to my room, though, I had a lot of thinking to do. By lunchtime, I had decided that I am straight with exceptions. I could only see myself being in a relationship with a man. However, I am attracted to females, as well. Women are powerful, beautiful, elegant creatures.
"Sex with a woman for...
But, could I handle the world knowing this about me? In all of my support for gay rights, I had never seen this side. The fear of society knowing you for what you are.
How would everyone react? Do I have to tell people? Should I hide this from my friends?
First Time For Everything: Hooking...
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Thought Catalog Platonic Life Partners: Get our newsletter every Friday! First Time For Everything: Hooking Up With A Woman and me; it wasn't so much that I wanted a threesome, but I wanted to hook up with her.
If you want to hook up with a girl, you have to flirt with her first to show that you can play ball. Let her know how much you like talking to her without saying so. I was upfront about being a girl-virgin. Now I'm just wondering how the do I actually go about sleeping with women without sucking?.
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