We are steadily progressing! Picking up right where my last letter left off, I am going to teach you: The beauty of all my lessons is how they build on each other. This will reinforce the most important aspects of attracting women, which I covered in the very first couple letters.
We will not use tricks or gimmicks. None of that bullshit. Words that work for me may not work for you. Your mindset is your biggest asset when it comes to Tinder.
You see, girls have their pick on Tinder. Match is the biggest and most legit dating service that I know. Drill that into your brain. You do not have to impress her. She is yours to lose.
She already swiped right. Tell your ego to sit down and shut up. The reason your experiences have been poor are because you have not been acting direct, confident, and congruent.
Listen, because this is important. If you approach a woman unsure if she likes you or not, you will fish for reassurance.
This will show doubt. Because confidence is the absence of uncertainty, you will appear not confident, which is cowardly. What about getting the girl on a date, Kyle? I want to tell you how to feel.
That way, you will say whatever comes natural to you and ensure you get the perfect girlfriend who suits you best.
It just shows a little extra effort and enthusiasm. The next thing I do is find a reason to justify asking her on a date. This is called qualifying her.
This frames the conversation such that I want to meet HER. Why else would she swipe right?
I then had to decide if I wanted to hang out with her. When asking a girl out on a date, you should show that you are a normal human and you have taken an interest in her humanity as well.
I set the date and closed. When she said she was free, I just named a time and place. It leads to chaos.
They want to meet you. This conversation at its core is the same thing as the last conversation. I also assumed that by swiping right she wanted to hang out with me.
That is confidence, James. I was certain that she wanted to hang out. So I needed to stay congruent.
So how do you develop this confidence? Since I believed she wanted to hang out, I said something about how we could have hung out earlier if only we had chatted sooner. I already knew she was as disappointed as me. Notice that once I asked, she already had date ideas! She wanted to go to the park.
Preferably not a jerk, either. You see how simple it is now, James? Quit reading the garbage people post online for clicks. These were not empty dates. Not a bad week, eh? There are far more of those than girls like the two above.
I still had a really great week.
Just get the girl on the date. Enter your email and take your game to the next level.
The Hang-Ups and Hangovers series. I like to write about the challenges of being a single twenty-something in today's hookup culture.
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